Sunday, July 15, 2012

The End of the Holy War and BYU's Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth: Starring Lee Benson



It finally happened, the University of Utah won't be pursuing games against BYU in football for the foreseeable future. This leaves BYU in a peculiar position, since it seems Utah has outgrown its in-state foe and continuing the rivalry shows no positive attributes to Utah's success. In short there is nothing to gain for playing BYU and scheduling limitations in the PAC-12 give only so many slots for out-of-conference games that Utah has to fill, especially with the home and home deal Utah signed with Michigan.









Pretty cut and dry that the move to end the series for the 2013 and 2014 series is in the best interest of Utah and Chris Hill's decision will be looked by the media and BYU fans in a rational and understanding light.




Aww, who am I kidding? Enter Lee Benson, columnist for the Deseret News, who wrote an article on the supposed end to the Holy War with such hyperbole and angst that I'm going to critique it in fine Fire Joe Morgan style.






 Chris Hill and the Utes have killed off the Utah-BYU football game.
What's next? Christmas? The Fourth of July?


 Chris Hill wants to end Christmas and the Fourth of July? Glenn Beck was right about people who work at those fancy book learnin' places! NOT IN MY 'MERICA!


*TURNS ON TOBY KEITH*
*PUNCHES A MINORITY*


Things I thought I'd never see end in my lifetime: the Soviet Union. Newspapers. Utah-BYU.Freedom killed one. The Internet is killing the other. Chris Hill killed the third.


Huh, I guess with the passing of time, ideas and technology become obsolete and get cast aside in favor of things that are better for the strongest and most stable. That being said, comparing the end of the Cold War and the technological revolution with the end of a football series for only a couple of years is up there with Nick Saban comparing a loss to the September 11 attacks


One can only hope that Newspapers dying will cut down on the amount blowhards who have a popular medium for people to continue to express downright stupid opinions. Then there will only be Fox News and ESPN left to deal with.


 Are you kidding me? Utah not playing BYU? What are people going to talk about at church? 


I don't know, maybe they could talk about religion; besides it's not like the teams are disbanding, BYU fans will still be able to get their smack-talk about how they handled Idaho while sharing their deeply religious experience of seeing Chad Lewis outside the stadium.


And who's going to tell LaVell Edwards?


You could have the cougar from that BYU commercial tell him, it seems like they're pretty chummy.




This is so wrong on so many levels it's hard to know where to start. The BYU-Utah football game is as integral a part of the fabric of the state as four seasons, dry air and Mount Timpanogos.


Along with pollution, reactionary politics, and Kevin O'Connor's ill-fated draft picks. 


It's like shooting a seagull. Like re-zoning Delicate Arch for condos.


Great job Lee, you just spoiled the agenda for the Utah Legislature's next session.


  Chris Hill's been here a long time. So has Kyle Whittingham. They know this. What the Utes are doing is nothing short of abandoning their culture.


Shouldn't the culture for any team be to win? Compete for championships? Grow as a program and progress to another level of competition? Sure, but you need to take BYU's feeling into account first. 


Also, what culture are they talking about? The perceived culture that BYU is better than Utah and Utah should only strive to play second fiddle in the state? Yeah, I think that's dead after the conference alignment and last year's drubbing. 


The Utes went Hollywood faster than the Beverly Hillbillies. They've been in the Pac-12 what? One Year? And already they can't see their past on account of their wraparound shades.
They took the good fortune and fantastic timing that got them into the Pac-12 and threw away the rearview mirror.




The Utes got into the league because A) Texas didn't want to, B) BYU won't play on Sunday, and C) Kyle Whittingham runs the best football program this side of Tuscaloosa.


Oh, this is another one of those "Utah was a silver medal" arguments. If only Texas' attempt to join wasn't more than an attempt to blackmail the rest of the Big XII into giving them a bigger slice of the pie and the PAC-12 actually wanted Texas. It's just so hard to grasp that the PAC-12 actually wanted Utah, BYU fans always have to add those "Yeah, but..." to Utah's ascension.  




BYU had the better overall program. Any sports follower in the state knows that's been the case for decades. If BYU and the University of Utah were countries and they held an Olympics, BYU would be Germany, the Utes would be Lithuania.
For decades the two schools were in the same conference. BYU won three times as many overall championships as Utah in the Mountain West Conference — or anyone else. And few would argue that it was BYU's emergence as a football power in the 1970s and 1980s that motivated the U. of U. to step up its game — and make it interesting to a big-time league like the Pac-12.


BYU would be Germany? I'm trying to come up with a Jesse Owens joke involving slow, white guys. It'll come to me later.


It still amazes me how many BYU fans and members of the media still think football began in Utah in 1977. Overall, Utah has 24 conference championships, BYU has 23, along with it being tied at four a piece in the Mountain West Conference. Oh, wait was that about all sports? That's pretty irrelevant in an article about a football game. Then again, it is pretty hard to compete with all those men's volleyball championships, since like only 20* teams exist in the NCAA


(I pulled this number out of ass, due to laziness)


Also, within the last decade Utah accomplished something that only Boise State had before. Not only did they go undefeated twice, they won their BCS games. I think BYU almost did something like that, but I forgot how that turned out. 




Oh yeah...


It just seems to me that BYU is like Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. They've faded from their prime in the 80's but they still seem have delusions that the college football world still revolves around them.


If any school deserved a call-up to the next level, it was the Cougars.


See, this is the entitled attitude that ensures BYU will never get that invitation. Plus, it's bigger than just athletics, some conferences like the PAC-12 actually look to schools who are research institutions, like Utah, unlike BYU. 


But life isn't fair and college football isn't even close. You have to seize your moments when they arrive, like Utah did when it joined the Pac-12, and no one in the state is unhappy they did it.


"I'm not unhappy, I'm just wildly passive-aggressive about it."


 But the Utes know it was their move that started the dominoes falling that caused BYU to decide it needed to become a football independent to survive. That put the Cougars in a position where it's imperative that quality programs fit them into their schedules. If that doesn't happen, they're sunk.


Utah caused BYU's scheduling problems? Nothing like blaming your problems on someone else. Besides, how was BYU going independent have anything to do with their survival? If anything they were more stable in the Mountain West, they're playing the same teams they played since the old WAC with quality programs like Fresno State, Nevada, and Air Force.


Let's look at their independent schedule: 



Half quality programs, half football playing jokes. Yep, it looks like they've ensured their survival by scheduling home-and-homes with San Jose State, Idaho, and New Mexico State. Ah, the sign of a quality program; the ability to have WAC basement dwellers come play at your house; just as long as you play at their place as well. I can smell that national championship now. 


Then again, maybe I'm not giving BYU enough credit. That November schedule looks rough, I mean, they're going to have a hard time locking up that WAC championship. 


And now … now this. The Utes are saying we'll fit you in when we can. They opened the door and tossed their old running mate to the curb.


You mean like when BYU dropped Utah State from 2002 to 2006? Besides, what would have happened if the scenarios were switched. Do you really think BYU would keep playing Utah if BYU was the one that ended up in a BCS conference and scheduling room became a little more tight? Get real. 


Plus is there anything funnier than BYU talking about loyalty. Does anyone not remember how much they screwed Utah State and the WAC in the midst of the conference struggle? Well, the internet does.


Of course the big loser, like always, is the fan. Just another kick in the teeth. Add it to the $5 Cokes and the late-night starts because the game's on ESPN.


Yep, Utah fans are going to so heart-broken about not playing BYU. I mean, I will always miss the vileness and vitriol that I've experienced in the past in Provo. I'll always cherish those memories of BYU, like when I saw a man scream to Utah fans, "Go back to Salt Lake with the faggots and whores." The general attitude at these games have made me not want to attend these games; not because I'm overly sensitive, but BYU fans' dickishness just piss me off. 


With all the bitterness in the series that I've experienced, I don't think I'd shed one tear if they took the series behind the barn and put a bullet in its head. 


Fans never have the final say. For years, if they polled them, they'd have voted for a national championship in football in a second.


Irrelevant anecdote is irrelevant.


 Same thing here. If they polled college football fans in Utah, the BYU-Utah game would never die.But in 2014 and 2015 it will be dead, for starters. The Utes killed it. Is nothing around here sacred?


What's sacred to one man, is utter bullsh*t to another. It's articles like this that make me happy Benson's not the Jazz beat writer anymore

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